While I have lived in California for 25 years  I grew up in New York City and still consider myself a “New Yaw-ker.”

Like a lot of people, when I see the images of destruction in the wake of Hurricane Sandy that hit the coastal communities of New York and New Jersey and hear the cries from people who have lost everything, absolutely everything, I still can’t believe it.

As a child, my family lived in an apartment that faced the Hudson River separating Manhattan from New Jersey.  In the 60s and 70s we went through two blackouts and at least three blizzards but this storm was altogether something different.

Yet what strikes me most is the gratitude people express for just having survived, for having their loved ones near by, for having the fortitude to know they will start over.

As an organizing professional I am deeply aware of the nature of people’s attachments to their possessions. I see almost daily how people instill their possessions with meaning.  Yet when they no longer possess it or they leave it behind either by choice or by circumstance, I am always struck by the notion that those things, in and of themselves, have no meaning. They become merely objects that in most cases, have no value other than what they can fetch on an open market. Their meaning along with the memories they evoke are tied to the people who possessed them.

The other day I was emptying a storage closet that belonged to someone I never knew and who had long since abandoned it.  It seemed strange and sad that no one had taken responsibility for the items I found: photographs of family events and babies long since grown;  awards and commemorative plaques honoring the life and work of this person; books and files and several religious figurines.

I took most of the items to Goodwill. What couldn’t be donated was recycled.  Doing so made me think of the thousands upon thousands of items that end up unclaimed every year in rented storage spaces, abandoned homes, even people’s current homes and forgotten storage areas. They become the remnants of their lives.  Items that meant so much one day, and nothing the next.

If tragedy teaches us anything, it teaches us who we really are. When I organize someone’s home or office or help them get organized to move,  I often stress that in the scheme of things they come first, not their stuff.  I am not saying this to judge them or to minimize the value they place in their possessions, rather, I am encouraging them to be as conscious and thoughtful as possible about what they own.

Not everything has to have “meaning” but ideally if it takes up space it should have usefulness or add value to our lives in some way. It should give us joy or be pleasing or practical or purposeful. Just like our homes, that offer us a place of refuge or peace, the items we surround ourselves with offer us something real and tangible.  At the very least they should be a positive reflection of ourselves and something familiar to come home to.

To me that is the true lesson of Hurricane Sandy. That, in a matter of hours, all that was familiar to so many was lost.  They didn’t expect it. They couldn’t plan for it and yet they remain hopeful that their lives as they once knew them to be will one day return.  The rain and the winds and the water may have washed away their homes but it didn’t wash away their spirit.

Would you like to help people impacted by Hurricane Sandy?  Donate now

What would it mean to you to have April 15th come and go next year as just an ordinary day? No stress, no tears, no panic. This month I have invited a special guest to share her best year-end tax tips.

Jodie Israel, MBA of JMI Accounting is both an experienced accounting professional and financial adviser to Fortune 1000 businesses and emerging businesses. I consider myself extremely lucky that I am one of Jodie’s clients.    Taking a little time now to plan and get organized will save you hours of  hair-pulling, stress later. Read on to discover Jodie’s year end tax tips.

It’s almost the end of the year and time again to get your accounting records in order for your CPA and your tax return.  Even if you’ve stayed on top of everything during the year, there still are some tasks to do to ensure you have things ready to close your books.  Every business is different so the tasks below should be used as guidelines.  Please consult a professional should you have questions or need more direction.

Tasks to Prepare for Year End Close

Get Organized:  Find all receipts for any deductions you want to claim.  Look everywhere – desk, car, wallet, briefcase, etc.  Remember that having no receipt equals taking no deduction.  Be sure to review personal bank and credit card statements to identify any business-related expenses.  Also review business bank and credit card statements to identify any personal expenses.  Pass this information along to your tax preparer.

Cash Receipts:  Make sure all business expense cash receipts are entered into your accounting software.

Reconcile Bank and Credit Card Accounts:  Be sure each month’s statement is reconciled to confirm all transactions have been posted to your accounting software.  This ensures your general ledger bank balance (the bank balance in your accounting software) matches your bank statement.  Fix any mistakes you find.

Petty Cash:  Reconcile your actual petty cash balance to the balance in your accounting software and adjust as necessary.

Invoices:  Make sure you have invoiced your customers for all goods and services provided during the year.  Anything that slips through the cracks is lost revenue.

Accounts Receivable:  Review the outstanding balance and make sure all payments are received within the invoice terms.  Compare the Accounts Receivable balance appearing on the Balance Sheet to the actual outstanding A/R.  If there is a balance outstanding on the Accounts Receivable report but the customer has paid, the payment was probably recorded incorrectly in your accounting software and needs to be corrected.

Accounts Payable:  Review the outstanding balance with your tax preparer to identify any bills that can be “pre-paid” and expensed in the current year.

Notes Payable:  Verify that the notes payable (loans) amounts on your Balance Sheet match the Note statements.  Confirm all notes are posted as liabilities and make adjustments as necessary for any notes paid in full or forgiven during the year.

Fixed Assets:  These are the larger purchases you made during the year, i.e., equipment, automobiles furniture, computers, etc.  Take an inventory of what you have and record the sale or disposal of any fixed assets you no longer own.  Confirm with your tax preparer any depreciation that needs to be posted.

Expense Categories:  Review all expense lines on your Profit and Loss Statement for illogical amounts.  For example, confirm that all office supplies are listed in the Office Supplies expense line and not incorrectly posted to the Auto Expense line.  Your tax preparer will categorize your tax deductible expenses and will need to know that the amounts for each type of expense are correct.  Confirm with your tax preparer if you can deduct all or a portion of the cost of your cell phone, internet, etc.  Also, if you are using a budget, you will want to compare your budgeted expenses to actual expenses.

Inventory:  Verify that your inventory balance is correctly reported on your Balance Sheet.  The easiest way to do this is to take a physical count and compare it to your reported value.  Confirm that the inventory is valued correctly and revalue as needed.  Your tax preparer will need the following:  January 1 inventory balance, the cost of inventory purchased throughout the year, the amount of inventory that was sold during the year, December 31 inventory balance.

Retirement:  Confirm with your tax preparer the amount of 401(k), SEP IRA or Simple IRA contributions you can take.

Payroll:  If you have employees, confirm that all payroll reports either from a third party or for payroll generated in-house are correctly posted to the payroll and tax expense lines.  Confirm all tax has been paid.  Ask employees to review their most recent pay stub to confirm the accuracy of the name, address, etc.  Generate, print and mail W2, W3, and all state and federal tax forms.

Outside Contractors:  If you have used outside contractors, confirm their 1099 status, name, address and tax ID number.  Collect W9 forms.  Generate, print and mail 1099 and 1096 forms.

Year-End Accrual:  Post any year-end accruals.

Depreciation:  Post annual depreciation expense.

Financial Statements:  Print all financial statements.

Back Up Accounting System:  Be sure to make a backup of your accounting software and store it offsite.

Tasks to Prepare for Next Year

Cash Flow Forecast:  Prepare a cash flow forecast for next year.  This will help you identify recurring and non-recurring income and expense.

Prepare a Budget:  Prepare a budget for next year.  Budgets can be a very helpful tool to make sure your business is on track.

Meet with Tax Preparer:  Meet with your tax preparer to identify any bookkeeping procedure modifications.

About JMI Accounting
Jodie Israel has experience in both the accounting and financial arenas, working with businesses of all sizes, from Fortune 1000 corporations to emerging companies.  She has an MBA degree and, as a QuickBooks Certified ProAdvisor, she has experience with all levels of accounting and bookkeeping.

“It’s time to fix up the basement. My goal: Turn it into a more usable home-gym and place to focus on my physical, mental and spiritual fitness.”

It’s been about a month since I posted that statement and happy to report that I have been using the basement for a home gym.  Before I could, however, I made it my goal to empty out most of the cabinets which were filled with old toys, games and crafts belonging to my now 17-year old step-daughter who gave me the okay.

Many of the toys got donated to a local Alameda County organization called Bananas which helps low income mothers to find childcare and early childhood education.  A few were consigned to a store called, Toy Go Round  – a decision I might re-think because it required two trips to the consignment store (plus another for each time I want to check on the sales of my items).  It also took a good deal of effort, time and paper towel to clean the old toys so they would be sale-able.

Alex, the cat, inspects the toys being ready for sale and donation

I have to confess though it did give me the opportunity to indulge the 9 year-old in me that wanted to hear the sounds of the Barbie train whistle again and open and close all the cabinets in the Barbie Town House.  That train, now featured in the window of the consignment store, is going to make some other little girl’s day.

Next time I’ll let you know about how I set up the gym and what’s left to do.

Recently, I was asked to speak to a group of small business owners about organizing and how I became a professional organizer.   Curious? Watch this short video and get a taste of how I work with different organizing ‘personalities.’  Have a comment or question?  Include it below.

Is your stuff – paper, possessions, or supplies – out in the open where you can see it?
Do you forget, ignore or lose what you can’t see?
For you, is out of sight is out of mind?’

On the other hand do you prefer to have everything you own tucked away  – in a drawer, cabinet, or closet?
Do you feel unsettled, anxious or out-of-control when things are not stored, stowed or put away?
Do people always remark at how tidy your home looks?

If the first example sounds more like you, consider yourself a Piler.  On the other hand, if the second example resonates more strongly with you, you are probably a Hider.

The terms Hider and Piler represent two types on an organizing continuum. Generally people fall somewhere along the continuum preferring one kind of organizing habit over another. These are not absolutes. Understanding your – and others – preferred type can help you learn ways to be and stay organized as well as to help you better understand the habits of others. For couples, its common for one partner to be a Hider and the other a Piler. Understanding your partner’s style and how they think about organizing will help keep the peace at home.

The most important thing to know is that both Hiders and Pilers can be equally organized or disorganized.

Take a look at the pictures below:

The column on the left represents two versions of a Piler organizing style: An organized Piler, as represented by the store that sells beads and other jewelry making s

upplies and a disorganized Piler  as illustrated by the photo of the cluttered office.

The column on the right represents two versions of a Hider organizing stye – an organized Hider as  represented by the physician’s examination room and a disorganized Hider as exemplified by the cluttered drawer.

Organizing styles can be dictated by function – such as the need for safe and sanitary conditions as in a doctor’s office or the need for customers to find what they are looking for quickly and easily as in the bead store example. For most people, however, organizing styles emerge from our individual personalities, learned habits or in some cases, physical or emotional conditions.

It’s helpful to think of Hider and Piler as preferences, rather than extremes, with most people falling somewhere between them but leaning towards one or another at varying degrees.

While I have not conducted a scientific study about organizing preferences, in my experience as a professional organizer, I have found that Hiders and Pilers also share some other characteristics.

For example, Pilers, because they like items out where they can seem them, may not benefit as much from conventional organizing methods.  An example of this is a standard two-drawer file cabinet.  A better solution for a Piler is an open file drawer on wheels that allows them to see and file their papers and then stow them away as needed.

Many of my clients who I would consider Pilers are artists, creative types or visual learners. They are stimulated by various forms of color, design, objects, and words. A Piler who does not feel comfortable expressing himself in a particular environment may find substitutes for filling the space in other ways.

An example of this are artists who earn income in an office setting. To compensate for the design of a standard office cubicle – with things like closed, overhead bins – artists and other Pilers often fill their surfaces with paper, piles or other bulky supplies. When I notice a client doing this, once we’ve worked together on organizing the paper,  I often recommend they find objects, artwork or photographs to fill the space (in lieu of the paper) that inspire them.

Conversely, a Hider may feel torn between her need for order and the desire to consume, purchase or own items of perceived value.  From the outside, everything looks fine, even beautiful. Until you open a drawer, cabinet or closet.  Then suddenly everything spills out in a jumble.   This is what I call the “Jack-in-the-box” phenomenon.

Typically hiders call me when their clutter starts creeping out from the drawers, cabinets and closets because they’ve run out of room.  I often recommend to Hiders that they examine their beliefs about what they value so that they can begin to edit down what they have.  I also remind them that storage areas are valuable ‘real estate.’ If they want to cut down on the clutter-creep they are either going to have to maximize the real estate, through editing, or else be at risk of spending more to house thier stuff. The worst case scenario is when people buy bigger homes or invest in expensive storage units to accommodate items they don’t use, want or need.

A hider can also lean towards the other extreme, purging themselves of all but the minimum necessities, sometimes prematurely, maintaining a tidy space albeit a bit sterile or overly staged.

In the fall I will be conducting an online seminar about Hiders and Pilers. If you are interested or want more information, email me at Lis@letsmakeroom.com.

I just hung up the phone with a client who I helped move to Seattle from Oakland.  She called me to tell me she was walking around IKEA shopping and was going to be going to a party later that night for which she had prepared a dish to bring with her. None of this sounds particularly life-changing, but in fact it was.

Two months ago I met my client for the first time.  Carol (not her real name) is a 70-year old woman, divorced with no children, who had been living in her home on a quiet residential street in Oakland for almost thirty years.  A year before our first meeting, Carol had decided it was time to retire and start fresh. Unfortunately, when we met she was no closer to her dream than she had been a year earlier.

She told me she wanted to travel and and socialize more.  She also knew she had to “simplify her life” because she had already signed a lease on a new apartment in Seattle that was half the size of her existing home.

Carol was an accomplished artist, graphic designer and marketing specialist.  She also loved to travel and over the years had collected various souvenirs, books, nick-nacks and other memorabilia.  Her home was musty, and the smell reminded me of my grandmother’s house.  She still had not gone through the items retrieved from her mother, who had died some years earlier.  The house had more furniture than would ever fit into her new home. She had some hard choices to make.

Carol grew up in the mid-west and moved to California to pursue her design career.  She later went on to work for a large bank and then, like many others, watched a lifetime worth of savings practically vanish overnight, the result of people she put her trust in that turned out to be anything but trustworthy.

Raised by a take-charge woman, a pioneer of the women’s movement, who returned to school in her 60s to earn her bachelor’s degree, Carol had clearly inherited her mother’s tenacity. She found a new job that while, less than satisfying, enabled her to save and retire with enough income to never have to think twice about her decision to “start fresh” at 70.

The first time I met Carol (she got my name from her Real Estate agent), she was clearly exited about her new home, an active retirement community she had discovered while visiting her sister who lived near by.  Carol had already started furnishing it and would periodically go there to stay.  Meanwhile, back in her home in Oakland, she was struggling to motivate herself to empty her old house.  She had yet to hire a mover (something I ultimately helped her with)  and was baffled about how she was going to get her old car out of the garage so that the remaining items in her home could be stored there until they could be liquidated, donated or removed.   (I eventually got it hauled away and donated.)

Time and money were ticking away as loudly as the clock above her kitchen door. The resulting stress was causing Carol to feel virtually paralyzed by the long list of “to-dos” I knew we needed to get done if she was ever going to get to Seattle.

We talked a lot but while we talked we worked. Room by room, shelf by shelf, drawer by drawer, Carol and I took what I heard another organizer once refer to as “a reverse shopping trip.”  A deliberate and at times painful process (more for my clients, less so for me) of deciding what to keep and what to leave behind.

Along the way Carol bravely confronted a lifetime of memories, regrets, harsh self-critical voices, not to mention some interesting and albeit, curious collections of bags, bottles, baubles and boxes.

Our journey together was part support group, part-family therapy, part art history lesson and occasionally part-game show, especially when she cheerfully would take on my playful challenge to edit a collection of travel bags while I timed her. (In truth, I never really paid close attention to the time – it was just the idea of making it fun that mattered.)

One day I had an assistant of mine come to help us move some of the heavier items out of the garage. In the process we came across literally hundreds of Carol’s drawings, paintings, designs and sketches from her days as an art student and professional designer. They brought memories of her childhood home in the mid-west, stories about her art school teachers, and doubts about whether she really had talent or not. She did and I suspect still does. As I often told her,  “once an artist, always an artist.”

Our work together moved between the sublime to the surprising when together we found items she had thought had long been lost to the practical, problem solving challenges that frequently come when you are trying to empty out a home (and garage) filled with a lifetime of memories.

One day, while sorting her closet, I pulled out a beautiful, eggplant colored coat with a red satin lining. She told me about the designer and how she used to love to wear it out but added with some regret, it no longer fits me.  When I asked her what she wanted to do with it, she said, “I want you to have it.” When I told her how much I appreciated the gesture, but that I couldn’t accept it, she told me, “You’ve been almost like a daughter to me. I never had a daughter of my own but if I had, I would have given her this coat.” I thought, this was the real gift.

Just like Carol’s beautiful coat, for a time our lives can fit us until eventually we outgrow them – they no longer fit the lives we have or want now.  Carol didn’t want that coat and she was ready to let go of it. When she opened the closet to find it again, it was like she had opened the door to a new life.

She moved through that door, not without difficulty and not without fear.   Helping her move through that doorway and watching her come out the other side, into her new life, is what makes me do the the work I do.  And I love it.

What would you do if you learned you only had a year to live?

Fortunately, this hasn’t happened to me (at least not today) but I recently compiled a list of ten things I want to do in my life. I shared my list with a group of about 40 other women who also shared theirs during a monthly women’s social group I attend.

The idea of a “Bucket List” was made popular by the movie of the same name starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. The movie is about two terminally ill men (portrayed by Nicholson and Freeman) on a final road trip with a wish list of things to do before they “kick the bucket.”

I haven’t seen the movie but I would bet that the movie character’s lists don’t veer too far from what I heard from the women in my group.  Sure, there were some creative and unusual wishes: “Get the keys to every major museum in the world (and) go in at night and wander around with an art historian,” to “Witness a contact from outer space,” but mostly I was struck by how similar our lists were.

The most common themes included the desire to experience the natural world (animals, landscapes, oceans, parks); travel; grow old to see our children (including nieces and nephews) and grandchildren thrive; be healthy or live healthier (presumably as compared to how we are now); do something creative or adventurous; learn a new skill; contribute to our communities in a meaningful and lasting way; and most, if not all wanted to experience more love in our lives either toward those closest to us, toward those we hope to meet and not surprisingly, toward ourselves.

With the possible exception of growing older in health, it was reassuring to realize that just about all these themes are achievable and for the most part, well within our control.

Yet, sadly, many of us never even get close to living our dreams. Instead we get caught up in the demands of daily life, the burden of keeping up with too much stuff and too much information (seemingly urgent but rarely important) and the false belief that our heart’s desires can only be achieved through some miraculous intervention or enormous compromise.

I am a victim of this belief as much as anyone. So much so that when I tried to imagine how I would achieve my greatest wish – to take a trip on the famed Orient Express from London through, Strasbourg and finally to Paris and back, the only way I could imagine my wish becoming reality was to wait until I was diagnosed with some terminal disease and then cash in my retirement money to pay for it (since I probably would no longer have a need for a “retirement.” )

Here is my “bucket” list if you’re curious:

1. Take a week long vacation on the actual Orient Express – London, Strasbourg, Paris, and back.
2. Visit a wildlife preserve in Africa
3. Vacation in the  North Italian coastal region of the Cinque Terre
4. Write and have a book published by a major publishing house
5. Meet Joni Mitchell
6. Be on television, featured for my expertise.
7. Learn to speak Spanish
8. Go to Esalen at Big Sur and soak in the hot tubs overlooking the Pacific
9. Get a dog
10. See the Aurora Borealis (aka the “northern lights”)

The absurdity of my realization is the essential dilemma we all face. Do we choose a life of practicality, security and presumed “peace of mind,” or do we throw the dice and risk losing it all (whatever ‘all’ is) to experience our dreams but at the possible expense of our long term survival?

I wish I had an answer to this question. I don’t. All I know is that I only have one life to live (excuse the soap opera reference) and at the end of it I’m not going to wish I’d spent more time regretting what I never did.

I attended a workshop recently where I was asked to write down my three biggest accomplishments from 2011 and then later was asked to write down my top three goals for 2012.  I was surprised to discover that my biggest accomplishments were all related to my work life while my goals for 2012 were all related to my personal life.  It dawned on me that the bigger message in this was that it was time to start shifting some time and focus to my own well-being.

The top 10 resolutions people make, if they make them at all are, in no particular order:

1. Exercise
2. Quit smoking
3. Lose weight
4. Quit drinking
5. Enjoy life more
6. More time with family
7. Get out of debt
8. Learn something new
9. Help others
10. Get organized

Some resolutions are about stopping a behavior that is destructive to you and some are about starting a behavior that will contribute to your overall quality of life.

As an organizing specialist, I believe that getting organized does both of these things. Encourages you to end a behavior that no longer serves you and helps you develop new habits that will benefit you immediately and over time. That’s why our motto is “Make Room For Your Life; Not Just Your Stuff”

Here’s an example. Let’s say you decide 2012 is the year you are finally going to be prepared for tax time.  From the standpoint of ending a negative behavior this could mean anything from, “I will not wait until the last minute to prepare my taxes,” to “I will no longer just throw my receipts in a shoebox.”

From the standpoint of starting a positive behavior this could mean anything from  “I will make this year the year I organize and capture all my expenses, income and contributions electronically so that I will have everything ready when it’s time to complete my tax form or send it to my tax preparer,” to “This is the year I will actually get my taxes done on time.”

So this year, make a resolution that doubles it’s impact on your life. But be sure it’s something you really want and are ready to commit to.  Then track your progress by setting up mini goals that make it easier for you to move closer to your larger goal.

Here’s mine for example: I want to lose weight and feel better. Rather than put it in the form of pounds, I’ve decided to put it in the form of a percentage. Why? Because there are real and measurable benefits from losing even 5% of your body weight when you are overweight (as I am).

So here’s my goal with my three mini goals to follow

• Lose 30% of my current body weight by January 2013
• Lose 20% of my current body weight by September of 2012
• Lose 10% of my current body weight by May 2o12 (my birthday month – what better present to give yourself?)
• Lose 5% of my current body weight by March 2012

So if you are reading this, you can assume I am inviting you to encourage me as I will need to meet my goal.  I will keep you posted and if you like, send me your thoughts, encouragement, ideas and anything else you want to say that will keep me motivated.  Feel free to also send them to LET’S MAKE ROOM’s Facebook page  (http://www.facebook.com/Letsmakeroom) or my Twitter Feed @letsmakeroom or hashtag #letsmakeroom

Here’s to a healthier, happier and more caring 2012!

The famous comedian, Groucho Marx once said, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”

I grew up with a family of non-joiners. This got passed down to me in many ways. I never was a Girl Scout (or a Brownie) as all my friends were. I didn’t attend Sunday school.  I never played team sports, except one summer when I joined my camp’s co-ed softball team and they put me in left field hoping I’d never have to catch a ball.   I never joined clubs in high school. I didn’t even attend my high school graduation, although once I volunteered to MC a high school fashion show but was  replaced by a young Puerto Rican kid who wore jeans with sharp creases that I envied. My mother never ironed any of my jeans. She was too busy working a full-time job as a copywriter.

So when I started my own business, I learned quickly that getting business meant I was going to have to renounce my family’s anti-social culture and become ‘a joiner.’

The first group I joined was the one for my industry, the National Association of Professional Organizers also known as NAPO.  I have been a member of NAPO for almost three years.  Just learning  there was a group for organizers was a huge relief. It meant that I wasn’t crazy to think I could make money helping people avoid or at least reduce chaos in their lives.  I was always good at this, but getting paid for it? Sign me up!

Joining NAPO was a great way to embody my new organizer identity and meet other like-minded professionals who, like me, discovered their passion for helping people find the space in their homes, offices and lives to focus on what truly mattered to them.

After NAPO, I joined another related group called the Institute for Challenging Disorganization or ICD.  ICD started as a subgroup of NAPO in 1992 but eventually split off to become it’s own organization. It’s focus is education and research about chronic disorganization, more popularly known as “hoarding.” Their mission is to help people with chronic disorganization, but they are also a great resource for professional organizers and other related professionals such as mental health counselors.  ICD offers its members free teleclasses on a variety of subjects related to the understanding, treatment and support of people who have been impacted by this sometimes crippling need to acquire and hoard. For me, as an organizer, it has helped me better understand my clients tendencies toward disorganization as I believe the seeds of hoarding exist in all of us.

I am also part of a group called EBUG. For months I couldn’t remember what the acronym stood for so I just called it East Bay Uncommon Girls. It’s actually East Bay UNITED Gals though I’m not sure exactly what unites us other than we are all women looking to have some more fun and friendship in our lives.

EBUG, which currently claims about 200 members, was started by a group of four friends so they would have more opportunities to socialize and feel less isolated after a long day’s work.  EBUG is known as “the book club without the books.” It’s perfect for someone like me who hasn’t read a piece of fiction since Clinton was in the White House. EBUG meets roughly once a month for all kinds of interesting and fun member-led events such as chocolate and wine tastings, kayaking, outdoor hiking, palmistry and Tarot card readings, movie nights, barbeques and belly dancing.

I originally joined thinking it would be a great opportunity to network without the usual pressure to collect business cards but it’s turned out to be so much more. I’ve made some great new friends (who thought that would be possible in mid-life?) and after nearly 25 years of living in California actually feel part of a community, not a geographic one but a community of smart, savvy, fun-loving women. Now that I think of it, maybe that’s why it’s call United gals.

Earlier this year, I went to a networking event sponsored by the Mount Diablo Business Women, or MDBW,  a group whose mission is to enhance it’s members “business, social, professional, and personal well being.” I first learned about this group from someone I met at EBUG.

I confess,  I went initially because it was held at a really nice hotel.  I figured if the meeting was a bust I could still walk around the elegant, marble-floored lobby and pretend I was a guest. Instead, what I discovered was another great group of women, only these women, had taken the plunge to start their own businesses, like me.   MDBW is not so much about exchanging business cards as it is  about developing relationships and learning new skills and perspectives as fellow travelers on the road to success.  Besides, that the food is really good!

Then, this past September you could say I really drank the Kool-aid. I joined BNI.  BNI stands for Business Networking International.  It is the networking group of all networking groups. Their whole philosophy can be boiled down into their two word motto, “givers gain” or to give it a more street interpretation, ‘I watch your back, you watch mine.’

According to it’s website, BNI generated business referrals resulting in $2.8 billion worth of business for its’ members in the past year. It was founded in 1985 by Dr. Ivan Misner, an author, columnist and networking guru.

I joined BNI for one reason. I wanted more business.  The meeting format is not for the faint of heart. Some have even called it ‘cult-like.’ I prefer to think of it as enthusiastically supportive. Each group works on a one-profession-per-chapter model to eliminate competition or the perception of it within each group. Before I joined, I almost joined. Two years earlier I had learned about BNI from someone I knew through EBUG.  I submitted an application (yes, one needs to be approved by the individual chapter members) then subsequently withdrew it because I just wasn’t ready.

Membership really depends on your ability to make referrals, and that requires knowing people and being in situations to know more of them. It also means being a serious business owner. The cost to join is steep (about $1000 a year) for a sole proprietor but I expect to make back my investment soon.   So two years after I almost joined,  the stars aligned to let me know I was ready this time around.  It came in the form of another organizer who told me there was an “opening” for an organizer at my group, which by the way, meets at the ungodly hour of 7 a.m. every Tuesday. Still, I have to say that I am really glad I joined. Partly because I genuinely like the people – people’s true colors are vivid that early in the morning – and partly because they have a great track record of upholding the ‘givers gain’ model.  It’s like knowing you got the best seat in the house or got picked to play on the winning team.

Having never been on any team (with the exception of that camp softball league) I have to confess, in spite of my anti-social upbringing, I like it.  With all due respect to Groucho and my family, being a joiner, afterall, ain’t that bad.

If you’ve lived in the same home for 10, 20, 30 or more years, and decided to move into a smaller space, there is a term professional organizers and others such as realtors have adopted from the business world. It’s called downsizing.

In business, downsizing has a negative connotation as it generally means that people will lose their jobs. In the world of organizing, however, downsizing refers to a conscious and deliberate process of reducing the contents of one’s home prior to a move to a smaller space. Although the use of the term in this context is thought of as neutral, people who undergo the process of downsizing may feel otherwise. This is particularly true if you are older, retired or living alone as you will probably need to make decisions about whether or not to keep literally hundreds of items before your actual move day.

Complicating this fact, is that as we get older the part of our brain that helps us with mental tasks such as organizing and prioritizing, otherwise known as the “executive function,” does not work as well as it used to. This isn’t our fault. It’s just a normal process of aging.

When preparing to downsize in preparation for a move, here are a few strategies I recommend to help minimize the stress and uncertainty you may experience.

1. Plan ahead. Start thinking about and planning for your move at least 6 months before you put your house on the market. This could include talking to family members about your plans, determining your needs and goals for your next home and perhaps even researching or visiting other communities you are potentially interested in moving to.

2. Take the time to survey your belongings. Make a point of sharing memories and stories they evoke with those who have offered to help you get ready to move. You may even wish to record those stories in writing or with the use of a tape recorder well before you start packing.

3. Don’t try to do it all yourself. Delegate physical tasks such as sorting, categorizing, packing, transporting and moving to professionals or trusted friends. Elicit ideas and suggestions so you can benefit from the expertise and experience of others who do this professionally or who are knowledgeable about the process.

4. Keep only what you need, love or can’t replace. Don’t become a hoarder. Hoarding is distinguished from collecting in that collecting generally involves objects considered by others to be both interesting and valuable. Hoarding, on the other hand, involves keeping large quantities of things that appear to be useless or of limited value so much so that it compromises your ability to use your home as it was intended. The decision about what to keep and what to sell, donate, or dispose of is yours but only keep what you truly love, will use again or can’t easily replace.

5. Make your wishes clear from the start. If you prefer to be consulted with on certain decisions let others know that in the beginning. Talk openly about how you appreciate help and be willing to accept it when offered. However if you are feeling anxious, say so and take a break. The less anxious you feel, the easier it will be to make decisions you can live with.

6. Conserve your energy. While you think you may be able to work for four or five hours at a time, in reality you may only be effective for two. Commit to doing a specific number of tasks such as packing three boxes, instead of a whole room. If you enjoy it, do so while watching your favorite TV show or listening to music.

7. Don’t hold back (or apologize for) your emotions. Moving is stressful for everyone at any age. As you prepare for your move, you may experience everything from the joy of remembering a happy event to the sadness of grieving the loss of a loved one. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions and recognize that they are a normal response to the circumstances. Your emotions won’t hurt you but suppressing them may. If possible, talk to someone you know and trust who can listen and empathize.

Lis Golden McKinley, M.A., is CEO of LET’S MAKE ROOM, a professional organizing company serving clients in all five counties of the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond. For more information, visit their website at https://www.letsmakeroom.com or call them at 510-846-1976 to schedule a complimentary phone consultation.